Self is the moment between known and unknown, between order and chaos, between past and future. One does not exist in the past or in the future. One is the line in between them.
Self is attached to the known for it’s comforts of experienced qualities, for it’s tamed nature - the positive of the order. At the same time order is unfulfilling, boring and overly predictable - it is the arena for depression and stagnation - the negative of the order.
Self is mesmerised by the chaos for its potential, it’s capacity to create, for the mystery and intrigue - the positive of the chaos. Chaos is also terrifying, unsettling, unpredictable, destructive - the negatives of the chaos.
Whenever one dwells too much in the past, good days are filled with comfort and bad days willed with anxiety. Whenever one leans too much towards the future, good days are filled with excitement and bad days are filled with anxiety.
Realisation of Self must lie along that line in between the two, ideally detached from both chaos and order, past and present, achievment and potential. Self is not what one has done and not what one may do - it has been and will be that, but it is only what it is I’m the stillness of detachment - as if the between two parts removed from either and given its own space. Order, Chaos and Self are the three parts of manifested Source - the oneness of time, space, consciousness and potential - the “God”.